This Monday is Really Depressing . . .


Hey guys. Andrew here. Bringing you a new post of my daily life. Only that I don’t feel as motivated to show you guys a video/song special at the beginning of my post like I usually do. I’m really sad. No; more like depressed. I feel so caged in. I don’t know. My feelings are quite messed up right now. I’ll explain … I just want to get my feelings out.

So yeah, usual day. I wake up, get ready to go to school. This time, though, my Mom drove me to school for early preparation of the big Georgia Studies test today. I arrived around 8:17 AM. About 2 minutes after the session was supposed to begin. There was already a big crowd of people in the room. It was awkward when I walked in, yet I felt like no one acknowledged me while at the same time they were staring at me. Keila, my friend, who recently has been quiet to me and has not felt like talking to me, was walking with me to the class. She was quiet, of course. She sat behind me at a desk with another girl. I was the only one besides the two of them in that desk. Others had their own group desks with highly self-esteemed people at their tables that just blurted out random things to get everyone’s attention and idolize them while also getting the teacher mad. That’s something I realized. You can’t really be so called “popular” in my middle school unless your disruptive and hate school, otherwise the school will think of you as a freak.

The study session was kind of awkward. I was wearing a church sweater. The fancy ones you would see grown-ups wearing at churches. I thought the selection would be fine, plus I’ve seen a lot of so called “cool” or “popular” people do it. So I’m not quite abnormal. Except in this situation, I felt like everyone was staring at me from the back as the teacher announced questions. A lot of other teams came and it was becoming increasingly boring. Shahnil, my old friend who used to sit next to me in Health class, came to set at my desk and another boy did as well when class was going through. Kevin, a very funny and popular person in our school arrived in the class. Everyone recognized him, positively. Even the teacher said “hello” and “how are you doing?”. I felt quite surprised. Kevin was always getting citations and referrals (bad punishments). I was a good student, on the other hand. Yet she did not even acknowledge me in the room and she acknowledged with much friendliness Kevin. Ugh. I don’t know. It gets me really angry thinking about it.

Once we were finished with the studying and the school bell rang, signaling the arrival of the school buses arriving at the school, I got my Georgia Studies textbook and began the day. Homeroom was dull. That is probably too over exaggerated  but most of the time I watched other people laugh and have fun in the classroom while I watched them. The insane part is that whenever I tried to laugh and agree with their jokes, they would tell me to turn around in my seat and to shut-up. Ugh. It’s crazy.  I was hoping that Mary was going to drop something next to me and ask nicely if I could help her with that, which would make me feel like a good person. Unfortunately, no. I felt so lonely. Even Bryce next to me barely talked to me. We did our test in the class and thankfully I felt like I understood 95% of it, approximately. So I feel good. Until Conner started throwing spitballs at my back. He continued to do it during the whole class. It was extremely annoying and I felt helpless. I wanted to tell him to stop every time I turned around, but the teacher had warned us that if we talked we got a 0% on our test.

Language Arts was no fun either. Just work and seeing other people have fun in the class. Savannah seemed to be too busy talking to Ethan, who I recently have found him to be quite weird. I don’t want to say queer because I don’t want to be mean, but he’s something different. Which is completely fine. But when I get judged by other people that say I’m weird for how I look and act and I compare that to Ethan who is always talking to girls and has his own group, I feel like there’s something wrong. We had to work on some worksheet for warm-up and then work on our rough draft. I felt even worse when the Language Arts teacher actually checked Savannah’s paper next to me and said she was doing an excellent job. No, not just excellent. Brilliant. She checked others and left her comments, but she completely ignored mines. Mines was probably the longest of everyone and contained great spelling, vocabulary, and print. Yet, she did not check out mines. UGH. The only time she talked to me was when she lectured me for not reading a book after finishing all the work first and gave me a book about mythological Gods. I had to go to the bathroom eventually, so I went. And during the time there, I heard the class bells echo through the hall way (since the bathrooms are posted on the side of the “C” hall way) and I immediately jumped up from my seat, sucked in whatever I was letting out and went back to my class. It took almost 5 minutes to get back to the class to pick up my stuff. A lot of people, especially from Language Arts class, looked at me weirdly and telling me I was stupid. Ignoring it, I went to get my stuff, only to find Mason, a boy in my Science look at my stuff and almost take it. I told him not to touch it, which stirred up a lot of attention. A lot of girls told me to chill. Why? He was about take stuff from my backpack! 😦

Math was probably the only fun thing. Well, sort of. We went over some rules of graphing and our Math teacher told us that we were going to have a test on all the parts that we learned this unit. Including elimination method, substitution method, and graphing method. It was easy, altogether. I’m hoping I’ll get an easy 100%. Lunch was a bit interesting. Vanessa bought me an ice-cream of chocolate chip. At first it was on my side of my desk, but then it was gone. It was gone and Vanessa said she could not buy me another one when she already bought me one. Understandable, yet I felt horrible. Danielle, on my side, revealed to me that she had taken the ice-cream and gave it back to me. I ate it with delight. The chocolate taste warmed up my taste buds. Probably the BEST thing I ever tasted today. When we got back in Math we did the homework and I had Samantha sit next to me and Shirlign, of course, needed help from me with the homework. This time I tried to have her try the equations herself instead of helping her all the way! She did really well and I was completely fine with not turning in my homework since I could do it at home. Eventually during the end of class, Shirlign was sad that she was going to be able to finish her homework since she did not get it, but I decided to do her the favor of taking her homework and doing it for her. When you look back at it from a different perspective, it seems she cheated me. But when you look at my perspective, I felt good and special. She threw in a few “I love you” for thanks. So I felt good. xD

Science was boring and sucked. When I thought I had finished my Science homework, Brian, who sat next to me, revealed to me that there was a back of the page. So I quickly did it and managed to turn it in in time. Others were not there, so they got the advantage of getting an extra few days. When the teacher started going over a notes study guide he sat next to our table and whenever I looked at him, I saw Conner behind him. Same Conner who threw spitballs at me. Whenever it appeared I looked at him the slightest he told me to turn around and gave me a stare which resulted in a lot of laughs from the girls saying that I was stupid and looked retarded. I tried to ignore it until it got worse. When Patrick started talking to a new boy in our class who was also named Brian. They started talking and I told him, as a joke, that Patrick was “stupid”, but only as a joke. Brian immediately spilled the joke at Patrick and Patrick made threatening notes to me. He also told me that I was gay and to shut up. Then it got into a quick argument. He then started saying he was smarter than me, because he was Asian, and I told him that Asians get advice and help from in class (which is true in a lot of test cases) and that I have better grades than him (he has a 69% in the class). Then randomly, the girl (can’t remember her name) sitting next to me got into it and said to shut up and that I was annoying and not Patrick. Crazy thing was that she was always copying off my work and I always was nice to her. Now she turns on me? UGH! SO MANY UGH’S. 😦

I kept a straight face throughout the class. As the class continued to interrupt the teacher and make funny jokes, I looked all serious and I was completely depressed in that moment. No signs on twitching even at the funniest joke. Brian noticed me and tried to cheer me up. Eventually when the teacher said that the class always interrupts him, Brian pointed at me and said that I was always listening. Conner, same one from all that I have mentioned of him, butted in and said I talk all the time. EXCUSE ME? You have to be joking! Just thinking about it makes me want to go into a rant and rage until I tear my hair apart. The only good thing in Science was that I got to hug Mackenzie in class when we left. Otherwise it was completely chaos and emotional war in my mind. I looked completely normal, but I was completely bugged out.

When we went back into homeroom and finally got dismissed, Vanessa noticed how I was sad and depressed and invited me to go out with her sometime to eat some ice-cream. It sounded good. Hopefully my mother obliged. I went to P.E. afterwards. It was actually better than most P.E.s. Sahil was actually nice to me and the girls in P.E. were nice as well to me. Laughing at my jokes and making conversation with me instead of looking weird at me and thinking I’m crazy. We did some nice exercises and we were told of a special scanning of the scoliosis (a spine injury or condition) that we were soon going to do. We had to watch a video from there about it and then we were given permission slips about it. Then I left to Drama. I talked to Cole on the way. Probably one of the only few popular guys who did not hate me or think I was weird. I talked to him about how I hated the school and did a rant about it. I also told him about the Conner situation and asked if he could ask him why Conner was so mean to me. He obliged to do so. Drama, otherwise was quite interesting, despite Brody on my side shooting wasps at me (a certain rubber-band and spitball mechanism that really stings you like a wasp). Otherwise it was great. We did Shakespeare part actor rolls today. I got to have one part. It had only one line in the whole speech. It was still an honor to have to speak, at least to me. Afterwards, I left the school and went to the school bus. The school bus was kind of saddening as well. Adrian, though, was particularly nice. Jayduh and Bailey surprisingly sat next to Adrian and started calling us dorks and interrupted every conversation we had.

I sat next to Brian and he defended me a lot when Erick started to get crazy and make fun of me. Though most of the time I did not understand him because he was an Asian speaking really fast in a black accent and voice mixed with his Asian voice, so yeah. No racist. 😛 We then started getting into a “yo mamma” competition and threw some at each other. A lot of the ones I knew everyone seemed to know, so I said them anyway and it was all in jokes. Unfortunately, a lot of people took me too serious and said that was lame or not funny. It was not supposed to. Gosh I feel like most of my school are completely idiots. At least a lot of the ones I know. Every other “yo mamma” joke everyone else made made people laugh or nobody said anything and then eventually got it. I said a “yo mamma” joke referring to Patrick Star and then one of the girls said that I was Patrick Star or that I looked like him? Pardon my French, but what the ****? How do I look like him in  anyway? It was sincerely stupid and even thinking about it now sickens my brain. Eventually the bus started calming down a little more when it was just the group of us from our neighborhood and we were really funny then.

Finally, I got home and told my Mom of the positive things of the day. She gave me warmed up rice and eggs for dinner and then I ate milk with Melville cheerios. One of my best cereals, despite how plain it is. My Mom watched Doctor Who during the day until I started playing on her iPad for a little bit and then gave it back to her. I contemplated in my room for awhile and then asked my Dad to check how my grades were. I barely increased on Science. A 78%. Math was 95%. Language Arts 88%. Georgia Studies 86%. Nothing really changed. Not even Language Arts! My Language Arts teacher told me she was going to update our grades with the Writing Test details when she had not. Plus my grades were barely increasing. Science had increased by 2%. I was still in the 70s. Ugh. Another ugh and the last of them. I ranted to my Dad about how I barely felt my grades go and how they dropped low whenever I got an 80% on a test grade. It was depressing. My Dad, of course, thought I was crazy and said I was thinking stupidly. So yeah. Nothing there to talk about. The day has led up to now. I must go do Bible Time. I pray it goes well and I pray tomorrow goes well as well. Hopefully. I would hate to have another day like this. It just weakens me…

Enjoy your time wherever you are! Hopefully you are having a better day than me, bye!

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Walking Wisely Weekend


The Beginning

It was a sort of good day for me and sort of boring, and sort of agitating. But, I got through 3 whole days of it, and I’m going to give you a little summary over what happened on those past days in one post. Okay, so here it goes. On Friday when I left from home, giving you the last post about leaving to Walking Wisely Weekend, my dad and I drived in his car, for about 25 minutes ti’ll we got there. There were about thousands of people posted everywhere in the buildings of the church, and the 2nd corridors that would usually be abandoned. If I’m right, the preacher about 4 weeks ago said that there had been 3,000 or 4,000 people signing up for this event. People from ourch church. People from Buckhead. People from another church, and probably some other people.

So, once my dad and I got there, there were slots of selections with last name letters, and we were in the P section. Therefore, we were in a line of almost a hundred people. Though, we got there, just in time, so we got through the line in about 10 minutes. We went past 4 corridors, to my small group. Though, when we ran into August (the son of the parent’s who we were going over for the past 3 days), we found out that our usual small group didn’t have our leader in. So, we eventually found our way, and found another small group. I immediately noticed Michael, Eric, Jonathon, Peyton, this new dude called Ethan and Nathon. Only Michael, Jonathon, and Ethan took notice of me. But, the rest were just too cool to notice me and they only noticed August. 😐

I’ll be honest. When Asa came over after a long time, everybody including me acted like he was the best thing that was coming, I got agitated. Why did everybody go for Asa when he had barely done anything in small groups or in Worship time. Was he the one who gave treats everyone for the past weeks last year? Was he the person who bailed Jonathon from almost getting in trouble with the church minister? Was HE the one who saved Peyton’s ass when he accidentally fell over the baptism bath, and almost made a fool of himself? NO HE DID NOT! I tried to ignore that fact. But, it still kept buzzing in my head continuesly. Though, Peyton already convended something with Asa, August, and Eric. I did not know what it was about. But I sure did not want to poke my nose into the subject.

Eventually when 45 minutes passed, and my dad was long gone, the leader told us before we were going to start our itinerant journey, that we would need our sleeping bags, money and stuff like that (I already had everything besides a Bible since I read his e-mail he sent to my dad). Turns out, Michael’s mom also participated in helping the kids. Ms. Ginger (Michael’s mom) signed up for taking half of the boys of the small group to August’s house. Turns out, August, Asa, Eric, Michael and I were going in that car. Immediately, Ms. Ginger recognized me, and said “hi Andrew”. She hadn’t said it to anybody else since she hadn’t known them. So, when we got in the car, I discussed about some horror movies like the Grudge and the Ring with Eric, and than had quiet interesting monologue with August and Asa (since us three were in the backseats).

Eventually, when we got to August’s house, we had some fun. They had an amazing basement. Though, I knew I wasn’t supposed to take pictures of other’s houses, or else I could get in trouble. August’s mom was very nice, and August’s dad was the only one out of the whole group who had recognized me. August’s dad and I talked about how I was doing in school, and so far, how the experience of Walking Wisely Weekend was. Than, unfortunately, August’s dad was interrupted abruptly by Mr. Kenn our group leader, and he told me to go downstairs cause they had something to do. So, I went downstairs, and immediately noticed the table of Cheetos, Skittles, Chocolate Popcorn, Chocolate melted Cookies, and water bottles. I took everything except for the Skittles and Chocolate Popcorn.

We all played Black Ops all night, except for the time we did small group inside the house, and Mr. Kenn tried to struggle sleeping over the noise Eric and Asa was making playing basketball, and the noise Ethan and Jonathon was making playing Ping Pong, and over the noise Ethan, August, Michael, Matthew, and I were making over the Black Ops game. Though, he was able to sleep. Which surprised me. When we came to the point where we were playing until 1:23 AM, we all went to sleep. Michael, Ethan and I, though, were allowed to stay up a little bit and talk, since we were the calmest out of the rest. We talked about the book called the Warrior which I hadn’t known about, and than we went to sleep.

The Journey

Once we woke up around 7 in the morning or so, I had to go upstairs and puke a couple of times from eating that food. It wasn’t really that pleasant at all, to be honest. Though, August, and the rest of the kids went back to playing Black Ops. Eventually Michael came up with a compromise to play this new game called Marvel vs. Capcom, and so far, Michael and I were the undefeatable team, until August played me in the 5th round, and beat me. I aksed Mr. Kenn if I could go outside, and oddly, after 15 minutes Ethan and Jonathon followed me. Though, the good part was that some neighbors of August came over in the backyard. One of them showed us this new way to use the rope August had in his backyard that was attached to his tree. It almost felt as if you were flying. Oh and FYI, August had a Treehouse, Tree Hang, 15 huge trees, and a trampoline. So, I felt pretty replenished. 😀

Anyways, when the neighbors finally left with their dog, Eric came around, and was starting to push Jonathon around, and all. Though, everybody knew that I was tougher than everybody in the group. Even though Eric looked bulgish, I was still able to push him, and we would look timid. Eventually, Eric dared me to climb on the top of a 40 ft cliff. I was able to get to the top without falling off. He was surprised. So, I was able to prove to him I could do it. Eventually he went back inside to play with the rest of the kids video games. Jonathon and I eventually went in since we had to go to Stars and Strikes. It was a good time there, for three reasons. First reason, Eric donated money to me since I had no money for food, Second reason, this dude with a huge camera that you would only use for movies was filming me playing guitar hero, and said “Ready to be on Youtube?”. I was so happy by than. Plus, I attracted a crowd of 20 people along with the small group to it, since I was kicking ass at the game.

And the third thing was that a couple of people were donating me credits for games out of nowhere. Now the suckish parts were that I was sucking at bowling majorally. Except for the time when I got a strike, and that some kids were making fun of my hair behind my back. I was sort of annoyed, but I stayed grateful beacuse God had blessed me with that youtube dude, and the crowd of people watching me. Eventually when people started making fun of my hair again, a couple of teenage girls that I’m guessing wasn’t from our church, came and said “shut the hell up!” and pushed them away. I said thanks to them and than they said “Don’t sweat it”. Well, that was the first time I got that from a girl. I just tried to make a joke out of it, and I said I’m not sweating it, and they laughed loudly, though, before I could get into a conversation, Mr. Kenn pulled me out and said we had to go. A bunch of parents signed up to take us places. I felt so much like an itinerant traveler.

Afterwards, the day went over, they played video games, and I stayed outside. So far, a normal day, without paranormal activity. I felt happy, except for the fact that everybody was making fun of me, and skipping me, and acting like I was a piece of trash. It wasn’t pleasant. We eventually didn’t sleep at all this time, and I had sore eyes. It kinda hurt, but it was pleasant that I was struggling like a grownup. Oh and Jonathon and I were checking on each other girlfriends on his Android phone that looked like an Iphone. Oh and when it was near the end of the day, we went to a concert that had people playing 20 songs and people were throwing thousands of streamers allover the place! It was FUCKING CRAZY!

The Last Day

Now nothing that interesting happened today. All we did was get news from Mr. Kenn that we were behaving for August’s mom, and that Mr. Kenn gave us notice that we were going to church so we could be dropped off. So, it was basically the end of the day. So, when we got there, everybody was having fun. Michael and I desperately walked around with Jonathon looking for our parents. After playing with a bunch of 7th graders some game, Ms. Ginger was going to pick me up and drop me to my parents. So, when I got there, I heard that Patricia’s friend was there, and that we were hosting. So, I was the king, plus the church hadn’t looked the same after a long time. So, I realized that Patricia’s friend was trying to attract attention to me, but honestly, she was such a big turn-OFF. Lol.

We got home, and Walking Wisely Weekend ended officially. Now I can only tell you from my private day of Sunday that I got in trouble because my dad figured out about my Facebook account, and that I screwed up badly in Soccer. So, ya, and tomorrow’s my brother’s birthday. 😀

A Surprising Sunday


Sorry I wasn’t able to post for the few days, I was busy or I was just TOO bored to go on the computer. Sorry, anyways, today I woke up around 6 or 5 in the morning, but I overheard one of my parents taking a shower. So, I was already reminded today was Sunday, or else, there would be no reason for my mom or dad for that matter to wake up this early. Anyways, I went downstairs to use the computer or have breakfast, but just before I could use the computer I noticed the bathroom light on. So, I knew that my mom was downstairs, so I just lightly ran back up the stairs and went back to sleep. I wanted to read Harry Potter “the sorcerer’s stone” (I got it two days ago, sorry for not mentioning it). To me, reading the book was like watching bit by bit of the movie (because Harry Potter has shown up a couple of times on TV, so I just watch). I don’t remember the author, but, oh well. Soon, enough, when I dazed into a sleep I had a dream, it was about two Indians burying a couple of nerds in dirt. Which was weird.

I was already bored of it, it stopped sounding (or looking) scary after the next 5 geeks. Later then, my mom woke me up, luckily I had the guts to wake up and not give her a tantrum. My brother though has a different perspective of sleeping. He’d just ignore my mom and then in the next 15 minutes he would get up. I started wearing some un_casual shirts and shorts. They didn’t feel comfortable. It just felt like the worst thing I’ve ever worn besides the wedding clothings. Usually my mom IS the reason why I get girls and my mom IS the reason why I look good. Why this? At least my hair was casual. But, my mom had to take that away as well. So, we all came to church, feeling uncomfortable. I didn’t feel too uncomfortable. But, just not right. Anyways, when I ran to my group I noticed much less kids in the beginning section of the boy section. At most 17 kids. But, usually there would be crowds of 40 or 50. But, okay, everybody was ignoring me like usual. But, I really didn’t care. I usually waited for my best friend Micheal to come and then I would be successfully be happy.

Though, my group didn’t have the same idea. But, I hardly cared or felt emotional about it. Anyways, I waited at the wooden stamps for him. But, it just came to boy, to boy, to boy and to boy. UGH!!!. Finally when it was close to Worship I met a big friend of mine. I don’t want to give details about him to be offensive, but yeah he’s my friend and I wasn’t embarrassed. Then, in the next 45 seconds Worship started. Then, for some stupid reason these 8th graders, along with this 6th or 7th grade boy were pushing me or poking me from behind. See I used to be picked like that when I was in 3rd grade. But, that was a joke, this was serious. Finally when one of the kids pushed me I muttered this under my lips “WTF?”. I don’t know what came after me, but I muttered it. Sorry, for cursing. Later when we had small group we had a huger crowd then usual. About 15 kids, in a small room. One of them said they didn’t enjoy Micheal. I clenched my fists, I wanted to punch the guy. But, I let it go. Am I friends only with the maniacs? Seriously. Later on, we had Kid stuff and got to see my sister’s best friend’s little baby. 3 weeks old. 😀

Later on, we spend some time at a Jewelry shop so my mom could buy a fancy necklace, which for some reason I didn’t sound TOO enthusiastic about. Luckily, my dad picked out some songs like “Telephone, by Lady Gaga ft. Beyonce”, “Stop and Stare, by Onerepublic” and then these other songs for an hour straight. LITERALLY. Then, we came back home and had some Burger Kind food. But, don’t talk about it now, ‘belch’ it makes me sick. Soon, enough I read my book Harry Potter right now I’m at page 112, soon I’ll be done with the book and then we got my sister (Patricia) Mario Super Bros “new” for the Wii, Kirby super star something on the Dsi for my brother (Matthew) and Crash on the game boy for Anabelle. I was just left alone with nothing. Sorry, I didn’t want to brag, how ’bout I ask my mom to get me a game, oh wait, she is. Lol. She’s getting me Kingdom of Hearts ‘Birth By Sleep’ for the PSP until I find the game system. So, I guess I’ll have to start working on looking for it. Soon, my brother and sister just played and yelled while playing Mario. It was irritating me, but, it was okay.

Then, we just went outside and did some break dancing with a group of other kids a grade higher then me and two grades lower then me. So, I was okay. Though, the day was kind of depressing because Sunday is usually my favorite day and I have high expectations for that day.

At Least Addiction Isn’t My Problem Anymore


July 16, 2010
Hey, I hope most of you have heard of the commenter that just came back. Well, some of you may not even remember her. Her name is Fiya. Recently changed into FiyaFiya. I actually think the name is more attractive in her style. I also LOVED her new gravatar. Anyways, I FINALLY remembered my dream. It was scary and horrifying. And felt like the movie Inception. You know why? This is how it begins. I was in a car and so was my brother and parents (my sister’s weren’t in the dream). We eventually went to the bassist’s house and then left to go back home. But, for some reason our car was right under the Eiffel Tower. We weren’t even IN Paris! Well, I felt this kind of hard and rubbish, plastic thing on the ground. One of the plastic plates for the floor basically in Preschool. Then, the whole earth was tipping over left to right. And just when I was about to get a grip on the tower legs the world tipped over full side left. My brother wasn’t able to hold on. He fell in the dark air. But, for some reason, my hands wanted to let go and I let go. Before I could get to dark air I woke up. Scaring the heck of myself.

I only just noticed I woke up around 1 IN THE MORNING and guess what CRAZY thing I did. I went downstairs. and it was dark. But, it was normal this time because in a dark room for quite a while. So, I was able to turn on the light without feeling paranoid or scarce. My aunt eventually came downstairs. Man, I completely forgot she was staying over. Not that I didn’t like having her around. It is just that I forgot she was here and it surprised me. I also forgot she was an early morning wake-up. Hahaha. Funny me. Anyways, I was told that my aunt and parents were going back to the wedding to arrange. Honestly, I don’t know how that place is going to look like. But, I do know who the bride and what other gender you call it in weddings.

We played video games on the exact time mom told us to do it on. And we stopped also at the exact time mom recommended. Just when we stumbled across Generator Rex we took 30 minute bath. We were able to take a bath and wash our hair. Except my sister left a load of bath water in the bathroom floor. I told her to dry it. Shes aid it was going to be as easy as pie. Well, I ignored that for awhile. Thunder hit 15 feet away from our house. It was a scary experience. Than, my dad did quiet time with us. Oh and FYI, we were done by 11:54 at night. Almost stayed up FULL time. Oh and tomorrow’s the wedding (today).